Milwaukee bad...Miami good.

My little wife and I get super tired of winter in March. Yuck yuck yuck. March is that month where big snow storms are no longer fun, rather they are big bummers that cover my driveway with ice. And when it does snow in this late in the season, all the commuters have become sick of driving cautiously, so you'll probably just die on the way to work. All the snow piles from the plows have become black heaps of road sludge, and the cars in town look like they came directly from first century Pompeii, thanks to the salt. Add to the mix the constant "lamb" and "lion" references from the news weather people and you've got a very obnoxious month. Not to mention all those pesky soothsayers constantly reminding me to beware of those cursed Ides.

The whole point here is that my little blog is now officially protesting the slushiest month of the year by way of posting some pictures from the cruise we took a year ago last December. Now before you change the channel, I hereby promise that I will not show picture after picture of me with people you don't know holding umbrellad drinks by the side of a giant boat. Instead, you'll be seeing us in tropical locales that are far better than wherever you're sitting right now. I mean look around you...don't you realize that there are thousands of beach chairs in the world that you're not sitting in? What's wrong with you people?

Sara and I love checking out new cities, so we couldn't just fly into Miami the day of the cruise and rush to the port. We got there a day and a half early, and spent many hours walking up and down Miami beach, and lounging about like sea cucumbers. Somewhere along the beach we came across this giant man made of letters. This was our first time to experience a Jaume Plensa work of art, and boy did we like it. It was this same guy that did the Crown Fountain in Chicago's Milennium Park. A few postings back I did a bit of a spotlight on the man. He's pretty cool. I gotta say a lot more about Miami Beach, but I think it merits it's very own posting, so tune in next time. I'm gonna go sweep all the gunk out of the little linoleum square inside of our front door...the black sludge hills keep trying to get inside on my shoes.

Zoe takes Toilet Town

Like all good parents, Sara and I are always looking for new ways to brainwash our child. The current propoganda is geared toward potty training. Yes, Zoe is still a little young to get a lifetime pass aboard the porcelain bus, but we figure that its never too early to plant a little seed that will hopefully grow into the plastic sapling of training pants, and eventually into a giant redwood forest of panties (with a day of the week printed on each tree). Boy do we have the appropriate motivation...I calculate that we spent about $750 on diapers last year, nearly burning away the entire $1000 tax credit afforded to us by this bundle of joy.

Since the Elmo in Pottyland DVD is getting really old, we began to brainstorm about new ways to convince Zoe to more seriously reconsider her current potty situation. That's when I remembered that we live only a half hour away from the toilet capitol of the world, Kohler, Wisconsin. The Kohler company has been one of the world's largest producers of bathroom fixtures since 1873, and is conveniently located just west of Sheboygan, between Milwaukee and Green Bay. I did a bit of research and was pleased to discover that the company has a toilet museum! Let me repeat that shoutily, a TOILET MUSEUM! Perfect!! We spent a few hours there a couple weekends ago, and are pleased to announce that Zoe is now completely potty trained. Or let me rephrase that, Zoe is now completely trained about potties.

For those of you who don't plan on making a special trip out here to see it for yourself, here are some pictures of the toilet museum. I've included some handy captions in case you're not up to date with your toilet-lore. This is a picture of Sara and Zoe in front of a wall of toilets. I don't think any plumbing is actually hooked up to these toilets, but even if it were, I'd rather not use the cans on the bottom of the stack. I like the pink ones, but the yellow ones seem so much more practical.

Kohler was the first company to use wooden toilet seats in an effort to increase the comfort of the sit-ee. Ends up that several years down the road some crazy scientists discovered that wood is like a sponge when it comes to toilet germs, and the seats quit selling. Yep, Zoe most certainly is touching this wooden toilet seat. We're just glad she didn't try to lick it. Kohler made sure the exhibits were interactive, and she had to slam the lid down on every model. She's learning.

Some of the more modern toilet models are made to look more like clothing hampers. This confused Zoe a little bit, and we most certainly do not want her to confuse the two, so we were quick to leave the museum and head back home.

As if this post weren't long enough, I must share this interesting Kohler fact. In 1888 Kohler Water Works began producing the first drinking fountains, which they originally called "Bubblers". People in Wisconsin still call them bubblers today. Weird.

Zu Zu is finally born!

Tax Return Part I came bouncing into our checking account over the weekend. Meanwhile, the good people at Circuit City discounted everything in their store several percentages. Thanks to the traditionally high prices that drove Circuit City out of business, and the improved tax position given me by my daughter, I am now the proud father of a 120 gigabyte Zune, which we have named Zu Zu. This is the realization of a dream I've had since I was in High School. If only I could take all my CDs and put them in one place, wouldn't that be smart as a whip? Yes. Now I can finally do it. Not only can I fill it with music, but movies and radio and some strange creature called a Podcast. I don't know what a Podcast is, but Zu Zu really wants one. Or several. The whole reason I bring it up on the blog is that I plan on spending a lot more time cramming this bad boy with all things uploadable, so posting may be slim for a week or two...we'll see.

Welcome Harley Riders

The Milwaukee area saw a sharp increase of ear plug sales late in the summer of 2008 as the Harley-Davidson company threw themselves a 105th birthday party. Man, Milwaukee knows how to put on a great summer bash! The powers that be at Harley invited every biker in the world to descend upon our fair city for a "homecoming" party that will not soon be forgotten. The week before the party started, every store and business in the town put up big signs to welcome the Harley Riders, and Kopps began serving motorcycle-themed frozen custard. And then came the bikers. And they came, and they came and they came. I'm not a Harley rider myself, mostly because I would definitely turn myself into a road burger, but I love seeing the motorcycles and hearing them purr. It was so cool to share my commute home from work with the most dedicated of all Harley riders.

One of the last days of the Harley anniversary, there was a great big parade from Miller Park to downtown. Sara, Zoe and I stood on that bridge that goes through the Miller Brewing Company's yard and into downtown to watch the motorcycles parade on down the road. We stood there watching them for nearly two hours and probably only saw a third of them go by. Back in 1983 Harley Davidson began sponsoring clubs for their customers called Harley Owners Groups (H.O.G.s), these clubs have been set up all over the world. We captured a great video of the Australian H.O.G. as they puttered by. That was pretty cool. Milwaukee is such a fun community to live in, there always seems to be some great event going on, and I love how Sara is always so willing to go to everything with me. The Harley parade was certianly a cultural event worth seeing.

Sara and Zoe meet Henry Winkler!

The cast of Happy Days were to give a short presentation right after the unveiling of the statue. Sara rushed from the unveiling to the amphitheatre and was the 70th in line to buy a Bronze the Fonz poster. Ends up that the the first 100 posters came with a card guaranteeing the chance to have all the cast sign the poster! They all sat at a long table, and Sara went down the line getting autographs. She brought Zoe along to capture the actors' attention, and it worked great. Check out this awesome picture I snapped of them talking to the real live Henry Winkler! He really liked Zoe a lot. I think this is the accomplishment of Sara's lifelong dream, and I wish I could have better captured the look on her face.

Here's a picture of Sara with her autographed poster. Someone just bid $245 for one of these signed posters on e-bay. Here's who signed it: Henry Winkler (Fonzie), Penny Marshall (Laverne), Cindy WIlliams (Shirley), Tom Bosley (Mr. Cunningham), Marion Ross (Mrs. Cunningham), Erin Moran (Joanie), Don Most (Ralph Malph), Anson Williams (Potsie), Gary Marshall (Happy Days Creator), and the show's producer Bob Boyett. We framed the thing and it sits proudly as the figure head of our little art gallery. Someday it'll be on Antiques Roadshow, getting appraised for much less than it would be worth if it only had Ron Howard's signature. Ron, if you're reading this, I'll buy you a cup-full of Kopps frozed custard if you'll come sign my poster.

Bronze the Fonz!

The very day we heard that the city of Milwaukee planned to commision a bronze statue of the Fonz for the riverfront, we knew we were constituents of a municipality that has it all figured out. For some crazy reason there were some nay-sayers among my peers who thought this was a waste of tax-payer money, but they're all a bunch of fuddy duddies and I say poo-poo to them! We waited and waited and waited until the unveiling day finally came, August 19th, 2008. We had found out a few days earlier that the entire cast of Happy Days were going to be there for the unveiling, so we got up early, put on our groupie masks and made our way downtown to throw ourselves among the throngs of adoring fans. You think I kid, but there really were hundreds of people lined up to see and swoon at the cast, who all showed up except Ron Howard...the punk. I had to work that day, but fortunately all the festivities were just outside my building, so I came down every now and again to hoot and holler. I find it strange that I, the only non-Wisconsinite in my office, was the only one with Happy Daysitis. Maybe its because we Westerners can better understand how cool the Fonz is, was and always will be now that he's been immortalized in painted bronze. We stood next to the Bronze Fonz for nearly an hour to commune with him and watch as news crews parused. I sure hope he's not too cold out there in -10 degree weather.

Goodbye Andrew Wyeth

Somewhere amid all the inaugural hullaballoo and Hudson river diving I heard on the news that one of America's greatest painters, Andrew Wyeth died last night. Wyeth is the one on the right in the picture above. He was born, raised, lived, painted and died in Chadd's Ford, Pennsylvania, but spent some years in his summer home in Cushing, Maine. His neighbor in Maine, Chirstina Olson, is the subject of Wyeth's most famous painting: Sara and I saw Chrstina's World while we were at New York's Museum of Modern Art. Strangely enough, they have it displayed in a hallway, we definitely wouldn't have found it if we weren't looking for it. No, I swear on my life, that is not our camara that cast the flash on the painting! Some tourists just don't get it. Anyhow, Christina had polio that rendered her unable to walk, and Wyeth captured what I would consider an exact representation of how things must have looked to her. He has her far away from the farmhouse...how'd she get out there? The field drowns out the entire painting, making Christina's task to get home look absolutely daunting. Wyeth was a representationist...he painted pictures with the intention to perfectly capture the feeling of being in the scene. I think it takes real genius to make a scene look more real on canvas than in real life. Christina's World makes me feel what its like to be unable to walk.

I could go on and on forever about Wyeth, check out some of his other works that I really like. Notice how he paints the scene from the perspective of the common onlooker, as though you are actually there.
Stop! I swear this is a country road in Southeastern Wisconsin. Wyeth used very few colors, I think this adds to the realism.

This here is Helga. She was a neighbor in Pennsylvania. He did 274 paintings of her, all of which were bought by a Japanese dude. I wonder if Helga and Andrew did a bit more than study art together. Hmmm.... Isn't this a beautiful portrait.

Trodden Weed This painting has just about no color in it, but has so much character. Its so cool to see a painting of the ground with some feet, for this is real. This is what we look at as we walk all alone.

The Master Bedroom I like how this painting is transformed by the title. If he had called it Cabin Room the painting would take on an entirely different meaning. The walls, the bedding, the dog and the outside scenery are all the same color. And look at how the light comes in onto the bed. This simple room conveys more comfort than a 5-star hotel, but only to the person who lives there; it makes me think about my own bedroom and how comfortable I am there, especially as the sun peeks in on a clear Saturday morning with the cat all curled up on me.

This one is called the The Turkey Pond but you can't see any turkeys anywhere. I think this guy is heading to the pond with me, his best friend, so we can hang out with the turkeys. We are obviously in a big hurry. I like turkeys.

Wow, this is a super long blog, and I've got so much more to say. I love art!! Hats off to Andrew Wyeth, one of America's greatest painters. If you happen to own one of his works, it just jumped in value like crazy today, congratulations!

Buckingham Fountain and the Lullaploozers

The last stop of our Chicago tour was the Buckingham fountain in Grant Park. Anyone who hasn't recently crawled out from under a rock watched at least a few minutes of President-elect Obama's speech from Grant Park on election night. Millennium Park, which I've mentioned a bunch of times in recent postings, is actually part of Grant Park. Park park park. Buckingham fountain is very Versaillesque, which is not surprising since it was modeled after the Latona fountain in Versailles. Check out how pretty the fountain is at Christmas time, and how great the cityscape is behind it. I love a good fountain, but whenever I see one I can't help but want to see what's under the water. Is that strange or what? This desire was especially accute when I was watching the fountain in front of the Bellagio in Vegas. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!

It wasn't until we took a walk through Grant Park that we realized why Chicago had been so busy during our prior trip just a few days earlier. Apparently, the park had been the venue for Lullapalooza, the Rock 'n' Roll fest that I was tragically not invited to perform in yet again this year. When will the organizers learn that car singing is a valid and marketable talent? I was stunned that the park had been cleaned so well in just one day, how do cities handle that so well? Surely all those Lullapaloozers left a whole bunch of rock-related trash behind, such as cigarette lighters, black fingernail polish bottles and Whitesnake CDs. Strange how the citizens of Illinois are so good at cleaning up the trash in their parks, but not in their capitol building!

Por la razon o la fuerza!

Congratulations to my blog! We have now been viewd by someone from every continent in the world. About four months ago we added the map to the right over there that puts dots on the locations of blog lookers. Its been a load of fun watching dots show up all over the world, but we just couldn't seem to break into the South American market. That is, until yesterday when someone from Chile came a walkin' through the doors and ordered a nice tall glass of blogginade. To that end, I'd like to dedicate this posting to the good people of Chile, who live in what has got to be the tallest and skinniest country around. It's like the cuticle on the big toe of the world. Remember that great episode of The Amazing Race, I think it was like Season 9, where they go to the Southern tip of Chile, and it was super cold and like the Southern-most point in the world? That was pretty cool. Wow, the Chilean flag is nearly the same as the Texas flag...just extend that blue field with the lone star to the bottom and you've gone from Chile to chili. Thanks, oh nameless Chilean, for turning this blog into a world-wide success, for we all know that he who dies with the most blog hits wins.

Will you take my picture Jaume?

The more I read about Millennium Park in Chicago the more I understand how super amazing it is. After we spent our fair share of time taking pictures of the Cloud Gate jelly bean, we walked across the way to the Jay Pritzker Pavilion, where they were playing an old timey radio program for the public. That there's a picture of Sara stading in the grass in front of the giant stage. The pavilion was designed by Frank Gehry of Disney Concert Hall fame. I wonder if he really got the inspiration for his buildings from wadding up pieces of paper, like on The Simpsons? I think it'd be pretty neat to see a concert or something at that pavilion. All those cross bars above Sara's head have speakers on them that have been rigged up to make the sound on the stage reach the people at the far end of the lawn as though they were on the front row. Its actually pretty cool, you ought to read about it.

Sara and I have come across the works of Spanish artist, Jaume Plensa, during some of our other trips. If you're ever in a new city and find some gigantic work of art that you can't quit staring at, it is very likely one of his. Here's an advertisement for a blog soon to come...Plensa's giant letter dude on Miami's South Beach. Don't miss it! Anyhow, the faces on Jaume Plensa's Crown Fountain are shown for four minutes and then their lips pucker and water comes out their mouth for a minute, followed by a one minute period of nothing, then by a brief view of some landscape, and then 5 minutes of another Chicago resident's face, repeat. The faces are shown on 2 fifty foot towers of LED bricks. And I always figured it was done with projectors...nope! The videos of the Chicago residents were taken back in 2001 with a $100,000 camara, and you never see their ears or hair. Videos of exactly one thousand people were taken, which means that each person shows up on the screen once every 8 days. A June 2007 article in the Chicago Sun-Times reported that many of the subjects who had their images digitized for the project had yet to either see their own images or hear of anyone who had seen them. I wish my face was up there so's I could be a famous Chicagan. I guess I could always just start up a mob or sell some Senate seats.

Giant Silver Jelly Bean on Your Desktop

Here are more pictures from Cloud Gate in Millennium Park. The real struggle is getting a good picture of somebody in front of the bean without catching yourself in the reflection. I think I'm gonna make the top picture my new computer wallpaper backdrop thingy. That's actually a big step for me, because I am super particular about the image that welcomes me when I boot up. I guess the big problem is that I often project my computer screen in conference rooms at work, and nothing takes away the professional edge of a hopeful consultant more than broadcasting images of your kid dressed up as a lobster. Instead, I usually have a semi-famous work of art on my screen because it always sparks a conversation with onlookers, especially if the artwork is one I recently saw in a museum somewhere. I guess the silver jelly bean counts as art work so I'm good.

Cloud Gate

Hoorah! Its the 100th blog of 2008, and just in time too, with only a few hours left to get it published. What better way to finish off the year than with more pictures from Chicago? After our morning and afternoon at the Art Institute, we took a walk through Millennium Park, and came across this gigantic silver jelly bean. It's actually Cloud Gate by Anish Kipoor, which was built in 2006. Not only is it 220,000 pounds of mercury-inspired art work, but its also the outlet to thousands of tourist snapshots every day. Yes, we contributed many shutter clicks to the pile while we passed by.

I did a little bit of research on this chunk of art and came across an article on how it was built. Its pretty interesting. Its actually made up of several separate stainless steel plates, which have been welded together and polished in such away that you can't see any seams. The original plan was to have it built in California and then ship it through the panama canal, around the St. Lawrence sea way and down to the bottom of Lake Michigan, but the price and risk of shipping proved to great. Surprise surprise. Instead, they brought all the materials to the park in Chicago and assembled it on-site. The artist demanded that no public eye see the work until it was complete, so they made a giant tent to cover the bean. Crazy.